um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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