I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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