i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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