I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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