I hate your face
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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