Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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