Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize