Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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