Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
