Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Sober January is a disaster.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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