Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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