I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize