i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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