note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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