Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
