Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize