The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
