i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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