Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
And the cops told us we were all naked.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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