In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you will always have a special place in my vag
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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