i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize