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Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Randomize
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