Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize