I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
