I don't think brook has ever known best
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
