I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
