Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
So much rum. So many feels.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
