Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
