He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
