Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
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He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
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You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
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