what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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