I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
