I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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