she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
