All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
