i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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