the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
