why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
