my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Randomize
