Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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