so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
