I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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