the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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