Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
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getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
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