Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
