Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize