i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize