What did we do last night that was yellow?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
