The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
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My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
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What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize