What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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