I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
