Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
