Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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