I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We left an ass print on the piano.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
