She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Randomize
