she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
