I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
