Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
