A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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